Prayers for Bobby

I hate to be a Debbie Downer but I just wanted to say a little something on a serious topic. I just got finished watching Prayers for Bobby on Lifetime. If you don't know, it's about a young man who is gay but his mom is hardcore Christian and after a lot of resistance from her, he eventually commits suicide.

Anyways, I just wanted to comment on how good of a movie I thought it was. Parents do and say a lot of things that are hurtful, but suicide is never the answer. I watched it and literally cried my eyes out. I was sobbing, I was crying so hard I could hardly breathe. 

This story really hit home with me because it was like watching my life story about a year ago when I lived at home. My parents were not accepting whatsoever. There was a time when all I thought about was how much I was letting them down and how miserable the rest of my life would be. I was severely depressed and for a long time all I thought about at night before I went to sleep and what I thought about when I woke up was ending my life. I have never been in such a dark hole. There was even a couple times where I was so close to actually going through with it but certain events (which I personally strongly believe was God intervening) happened to stop me. It was the darkest time in my life and I was lucky enough to make it through. 

Things still are not great with my parents, but watching movies like this make me so happy and sad all at the same time. It brings back those emotions of that time but makes me so grateful I was able to recover and not take my life.

It also makes me sad because watching Bobby's mom be so ignorant as she makes her son hate himself even more is exactly what my mom has done and continues to do. I wish she could open her eyes and see how she makes me feel. I wish she could have seen this movie and have it make an impact on her the same way it had an impact on me.

I highly recommend watching this movie if you didn't get to see it. You might want to stock up on some kleenex though.

And please, if any of you feel the way I was feeling back then, talk to someone, get some help. I consider myself so lucky that I didn't go through with it. Many others conflicted with coming to terms with their sexuality are not so lucky.

I'm back

Tommy Haas

Roger Federer
Andy Roddick
Novak Djokovic

It's been a while since I've written because I have been pretty busy. I went home for the Christmas break and just started school again. Things have just been crazy and haven't had a lot of time. Anyways, break was good, relaxed, watched a lot of movies, tv, football. It was good. Got to go on vacation to a tropical location which was very cool. And this past weekend I had a very good time. I went out of town to big party/reception type thing. Me and a bunch of guys were partying and got wasted. Went back to the room and were hanging out. a few of the guys went ahead and passed out while me and this other guy continued hanging out and drinking. So finally I go to pass out and started to set up to sleep on the floor, me being drunk and ballsy, invited him to stay in the bed. Long story short, I made advances by "accidently" brushing up against him then he started to rub my feet and we just looked at each other and knew we both wanted each other. So we got to rubbing each other and feeling each other up. We made out for a while then I worshiped his hot body. I licked every inch of his body sucked and bit on his nipples then finally got to blowing him and sucking on his balls. It was so hot and if you have read my earlier posts, know this is kind of a lot for me to do. So I had fun and it was pretty cool. Now Im just paranoid those other people in the room heard or know something because they know a lot of my friends and Im just really scared about word getting out to everyone I know. Anyways, like I have said before I love to hear from anyone reading this so I'm going to respond to someone's question now. Please feel free to ask me any other questions you have.

Q: I'm not clear on something: are you gay or bi? Did you like fucking with chicks (whether you were dominated or not shouldn't affect the answer), or do you only enjoy guys? Which is it?

A: I, for the most part, label myself as gay. I was denial for a very long time and even though I did have sex with chicks, I was never really into it all that much. It obviously felt good but it's nothing like being with a guy. The full on hardcore attraction just isn't there with chicks. Don't get me wrong, I think chicks are hot and can enjoy a nice ass or pair of boobs, but the desire to fuck them isn't really there. I hope that helped to clear up the confusion and answer your question.

I guess thats about it. I'll end on some sports talk (mixed with hot guys of course). I'm a huge tennis fan. I love not only playing it but watching it as well. This is one of my favorite times of the year when the Grand Slams start. The Australian Open started yesterday and I'm really excited about it. Heres some pics of some of my favorite tennis players.