Prayers for Bobby

I hate to be a Debbie Downer but I just wanted to say a little something on a serious topic. I just got finished watching Prayers for Bobby on Lifetime. If you don't know, it's about a young man who is gay but his mom is hardcore Christian and after a lot of resistance from her, he eventually commits suicide.

Anyways, I just wanted to comment on how good of a movie I thought it was. Parents do and say a lot of things that are hurtful, but suicide is never the answer. I watched it and literally cried my eyes out. I was sobbing, I was crying so hard I could hardly breathe. 

This story really hit home with me because it was like watching my life story about a year ago when I lived at home. My parents were not accepting whatsoever. There was a time when all I thought about was how much I was letting them down and how miserable the rest of my life would be. I was severely depressed and for a long time all I thought about at night before I went to sleep and what I thought about when I woke up was ending my life. I have never been in such a dark hole. There was even a couple times where I was so close to actually going through with it but certain events (which I personally strongly believe was God intervening) happened to stop me. It was the darkest time in my life and I was lucky enough to make it through. 

Things still are not great with my parents, but watching movies like this make me so happy and sad all at the same time. It brings back those emotions of that time but makes me so grateful I was able to recover and not take my life.

It also makes me sad because watching Bobby's mom be so ignorant as she makes her son hate himself even more is exactly what my mom has done and continues to do. I wish she could open her eyes and see how she makes me feel. I wish she could have seen this movie and have it make an impact on her the same way it had an impact on me.

I highly recommend watching this movie if you didn't get to see it. You might want to stock up on some kleenex though.

And please, if any of you feel the way I was feeling back then, talk to someone, get some help. I consider myself so lucky that I didn't go through with it. Many others conflicted with coming to terms with their sexuality are not so lucky.

I'm back

Tommy Haas

Roger Federer
Andy Roddick
Novak Djokovic

It's been a while since I've written because I have been pretty busy. I went home for the Christmas break and just started school again. Things have just been crazy and haven't had a lot of time. Anyways, break was good, relaxed, watched a lot of movies, tv, football. It was good. Got to go on vacation to a tropical location which was very cool. And this past weekend I had a very good time. I went out of town to big party/reception type thing. Me and a bunch of guys were partying and got wasted. Went back to the room and were hanging out. a few of the guys went ahead and passed out while me and this other guy continued hanging out and drinking. So finally I go to pass out and started to set up to sleep on the floor, me being drunk and ballsy, invited him to stay in the bed. Long story short, I made advances by "accidently" brushing up against him then he started to rub my feet and we just looked at each other and knew we both wanted each other. So we got to rubbing each other and feeling each other up. We made out for a while then I worshiped his hot body. I licked every inch of his body sucked and bit on his nipples then finally got to blowing him and sucking on his balls. It was so hot and if you have read my earlier posts, know this is kind of a lot for me to do. So I had fun and it was pretty cool. Now Im just paranoid those other people in the room heard or know something because they know a lot of my friends and Im just really scared about word getting out to everyone I know. Anyways, like I have said before I love to hear from anyone reading this so I'm going to respond to someone's question now. Please feel free to ask me any other questions you have.

Q: I'm not clear on something: are you gay or bi? Did you like fucking with chicks (whether you were dominated or not shouldn't affect the answer), or do you only enjoy guys? Which is it?

A: I, for the most part, label myself as gay. I was denial for a very long time and even though I did have sex with chicks, I was never really into it all that much. It obviously felt good but it's nothing like being with a guy. The full on hardcore attraction just isn't there with chicks. Don't get me wrong, I think chicks are hot and can enjoy a nice ass or pair of boobs, but the desire to fuck them isn't really there. I hope that helped to clear up the confusion and answer your question.

I guess thats about it. I'll end on some sports talk (mixed with hot guys of course). I'm a huge tennis fan. I love not only playing it but watching it as well. This is one of my favorite times of the year when the Grand Slams start. The Australian Open started yesterday and I'm really excited about it. Heres some pics of some of my favorite tennis players.

Taking Another Study Break

While not studying I decided to watch yet another one of my guilty pleasures, the Hills. It's so bad, it's good. Watching it reminded me of yet another guy I have a huge thing for. Brody Jenner is very attractive. Some people say he seems like a douche but I think he seems funny and would be cool to party with...and then have fun with at night and lay with in bed, haha. As you can probably tell, I'm into scruffy, manly, slightly hairy guys. Plus, check out his tight halloween costume, it definitely looks like he's packing heat. I just realized this blog has just become a place for me to release my random thoughts of who I think is hot at that moment. haha oh well, I'm not complaining, I hope none of you do either. I've just been inexplicably horny lately. It's a very good yet bad problem to have. This is the time where I just want to find a friend. A very hot friend who I can go to dinner with, have fun with, maybe go have a few beers, play some darts, watch monday night football (then maybe the hills haha) and then come home and can fuck the shit out of me and then we can lay in bed completely comfortable with each other while we talk and play. Ahh, I can only dream. Why is that so hard to find?

1 final down, 2 to go

Well now that one final is down, instead of studying I'm taking a break watching one of my guilty pleasures, the Real Houswives of Orange County. Earlier this week I said that I thought Justin Gaston was of the hottest guys I have seen. But I had forgotten about one of the houswife's baseball playing son, Shane. What a hottie. Plus I have heard rumors he is gay. Although I doubt it's true, one can dream and hope.

It's official...I want to be a vampire

I want to be a vampire mostly because of this guy.  He has a unique look and not your typical hot guy. But there is something very attractive about him that just draws me in. I just saw him when he was a bit younger in that Harry Potter movie and I must say, he has aged well and grown into a very handsome 22 year old. And I love the light dusting of hair on his chest. So hot.

Wow...and OU still sucks

I'm just sitting here watching OU kill Mizzou, thinking to myself Texas is the true Big 12 champion, but hopefully people will at least see Colt McCoy deserves the Heisman. Anyways, it's obviously a boring game. So what do I do? Search the web for hot guys of course. And I come across more pics of Miley Cyrus' new boyfriend, Justin Gaston. I first saw him on Nashville Star before he started dating her and thought he was really hot. Now that he's in a high profile "relationship" there are even more pictures of him coming out. Even though I can't really stand Miley and he seems a bit douchey, he's one of the hottest guys I have seen in a while. Why don't hotter guys like him go to my church? Especially wearing wife beaters like he did. 

A little about me

                                 Riley Skinner, Wake Forest QB.  

just google him if you wanna see 

the full nude. 

(I highly recommend doing so)

Sean Avery, Dallas Stars hockey player. 

Hot and sexy bad boy
Tim Tebow, Florida QB. The All-American, 

almost perfect in every way, hot jock. 

I've never wanted a minister's son so bad.

Well, first I wanna say hey to anyone who happens to be reading this...and at this point Im not sure if that includes anyone haha. Another thing is I am completely new to this and have never blogged before and honestly I am not that tech savvy.

So why do this? 

First, let me say that I am a fan of some blogs that I read and keep up with when I have the time. So I you could say reading those in a way encouraged me to write my own. But what really motivated me was just sitting here feeling this anxious nervousness that I cant release. I needed an outlet and a way to release it.

What will I be writing about?

Any and everything. I love sports, movies, tv, celebrity gossip and all that good stuff. 

Let me also say that although I dont think it defines me or who I am in any way, I am gay. So that will probably dictate what I talk about as well. Not because it's all I have to talk about but mostly because this may be one of the only places I have to talk about it. I am out but only to a few close friends. It's not something I usually talk about that openly and have had some really bad experiences. Some I will probably talk about later. One thing, I grew up here in the south and was raised southern Baptist and went to a Christian school my entire life growing up so obviously being gay is not the best way to fit in within a community as strict as that. 

Of course, I really do love sports, especially college football but with that I also love the hot athletes. (Like some of the pictures I have posted). I love celeb gossip so Im sure Ill talk about that. I love certain tv shows like Lost, Survivor, Grey's Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters etc. and to this say two of my favorite shows were Friends and Sex and the City. Of course I always have a special place for Felicity, Dawsons Creek, Jack and Jill (if anyone remembers that show haha) and I used to LOVE Party of Five! 

I'll continue to talk about hot guys and some of my experiences and sexual fantasies. Sometimes fantasies is all I have because as I said Im not really out so havent done all that much. I have kissed 1 guy, sucked a cock or 2 and jerked off with some dudes and given hand jobs. Like I said nothin. I do however have a dildo and I enjoy getting fucked very much. Im a total bottom. I love being dominated. I have had quite a lot of sex with chicks and I always enjoyed being dominated and ass play. I will probably bitch about law school and how much it sucks but not too much cause I know thats boring...not that this is necessarily thrilling haha.

Another thing, I am a total guy's guy. Everyone thinks I am straight even when I tell people. I am not a queen or your stereotypical gay guy. I love sports and drinking beer and playing darts with the guys. That is why I respect and admire guy's like the blogger on A Gay Athlete's Life. He is a man's man, an athlete. Seems like a very cool guy chill down to earth very much like a guy I would hang out with. And he just happens to be gay. We are not all screaming queens with makeup purses and limp wrists. No offense intended if that is you or someone you know, I just dont like people thinking just because you are gay, that everyone is like that. It's not fair. I actually dont have any gay friends at all. Which sometimes makes me feel very alone but it's hard to find good people and good friends. Sometimes I wish I did have a gay friend, someone I could ask questions to. Im new to "the scene" and I have no real connection to the gay community.

Wow, I dont know where all that came from...I didnt think Id have anything to write about. haha. Well let me sum up with 2 things. First, the Longhorns got screwed. Fuck OU. Colt for Heisman. 

Second, let me leave you with a quick fantasy of mine (I always fantasize about someone I know or someone in my life in some way, not celebs or anything)

Theres this guy at school. Seems straight...of course. I always fall for straight guys! but thats just what I am attracted to. I digress...Ill do that a lot so I apologize in advance haha.

He is very fratty type. Blue eyes brown hair about 6'1. Very good looking. Nice body, lightly hiry chest, which I love. Walks with a certain swagger like he owns the place and probably because he has a huge cock.

We are in the library, lock eyes, I make eyes that say I want your cock in my mouth. We go to the back of the stacks where no one is and we start making out. Deep passionate kisses. Then he takes off his shirt and I feel and kiss his hot hairy chest and play with his nipples. Then he forces me down to his cock, pulls it out and tells me to suck his cock. I go to town on it and he continues to talk dirty to me and encourage me as I pull and massage on his balls while swallowing his cock. I continue as I hear him starting to get closer to cumming. Then he cums all over my face and I love every minute of it.

...These are just a few thoughts I have while at school in the library "studying" when my mind needs a break and I see a hot guy like him walk by.

I hope this has been somewhat entertaining and I hope you got a snippet of insight into my life. Thanks for reading! Please send comments questions any feedback. Id love to hear from all of you. Until next time... Au revoir